ladies, at one time, I was a distance runner who could whip out miles like it was nobodies business. then...I got married, finished architecture school, started a new 9-5 job, and ultimately decided....who on earth has time to run?! or do any sort of physical activity for that matter? that was almost two-years ago....ouch.
but, this past week, I was taking a class on the Influence Network and it was about surviving and thriving in transition and it really got me thinking....in the midst of this massive transition Guy and I are making, am I coping or escaping? let me back up a moment and explain. in the class we talked about knowing how to identify and utilize our coping mechanisms during times of transition versus using our escape mechanisms.
when we are in the midst of transition, do we use our coping mechanisms (healthy) or escape mechanisms (not healthy)?
this was an ouch moment for myself. i have been leaning into my escape mechanisms and soaking them in like a hot bath. i have thrown up distractions left and right in the hopes of avoiding raising support, avoiding packing another time, avoiding the many moves we will have in the next two-years, avoiding anything and everything that will result in a change from the comfortable routine I have come to enjoy and relish. i have escaped responsibilities by running to the kitchen to make the yummy sweet treat i found while wasting hours on Pinterest. i have escaped God, afraid to pray for what I know I need, all in the hopes that things will just remain the same, without change. it's a vicious cycle, a downward spiral, that is not only unhealthy in my everyday life and relationships, but it results in a stagnant relationship with the Father that desires to have intimacy with me.
so, following my ouch moment and identifying that I have a MAJOR tendency to distract or escape my periods of transition, I decided to take our instructor (Jessi's) advice and set rhythms that will sustain me and allow me have intimacy with God.
running is one of my rhythms, one of my coping mechanisms to allow me to walk through change without avoiding. i have been going at it, slow and steady (emphasis on the slow), and have been experiencing the freedom I remember from running years back. a moment in my day to run with God free of distractions, letting my thoughts wrap around what He's working on in my heart, praying over the transitions and changes in my life, not avoiding and escaping, but facing them head on, one step at a time. i've seen the fruit of running in the past week. of setting a rhythm in my daily schedule that sustains me and gives me intimacy with the Father. i've found that with a clear head, focused on things above, I've been able to step into the areas of transition that I fear the most; raising our financial support, packing up and making move number one of many, and leaving behind the "comfortable" zone for the very unknown.
i'm going to keep running. i'm going to keep allowing God to open my hands and work in my heart through these transitions and changes. i want to soak in the intimacy i have with Him. i no longer want to ignore what He's doing and how He's moving. i'm tired of escaping, of constantly feeling the fear that comes with change, the panic that rises in my chest. i'm giving this season of transition and change up to Him.
will you join me? in the midst of whatever you're going through, whatever transitions or changes your experiencing, are you coping or escaping?