"Guard your time fiercely. Be generous with it, but be intentional about it." - David Duchemin
I lay in bed. In the hours just before dozing off into deep slumber. And my thoughts return nightly to a place no longer ruled by time. A place where we live without abandon. Where laughter, tears, joy, and sadness are experienced in their fullest realities. Where putting on a good face or being in good taste is never more important than truly knowing and acknowledging the experiences of the men and women surrounding us.
I lay in bed. Contemplating this scenario played out in reality. My heart and head battling out the conflicting emotions at play. To be lived out in reality there must be sacrifices made. Sacrifices that mean saying 'no' to beautiful opportunities in order to say 'yes' to the ones that bring to fruition this place I envision.
I lay in bed. Conflicted internally with where to begin. Where do I begin to define my 'yes'? Is there a light shining on the path that will light the way? It seems as if this elusive path will never exist. Rather a series of choices will have to be made, in faith, in prayerful contemplation, with the kind of energy that fills you both with butterflies and bricks simultaneously.
I lay in bed. And finally I am consumed by my weary and closing eyes. My breathing becomes low and heavy. The night quiet if not for the purring sound of the radiators throughout our home. Soon another morning will begin. Another day moving without thought from one task to the next. Only to find myself back in this bed. Deep with my thoughts about the reality I envision.
I lay in bed. Only recently, the reality I have envisioned feels closer, nearer than ever before. The butterflies are fiercely at work within me, in faith the 'yes' has slowly evolved to a point where saying it has become far less fuzzy. The 'no' much clearer too. With choices still abundant I no longer wrestle moment by moment with which of the abundance of paths I should begin walking.
I lay in bed. Fully believing this place of no abandon is reality. If only for removing myself from the game. From the must-have's, the must-be's, the want-to-be's. Replacing them with the woman that's always been there. Her unique passions, giftings, and strengths poured out as an offering to glorify the Conductor of it all.
What others are saying...
// When Creativity is Lacking - Amy Hodgdon from Lovely Does It
// To My Dear Readers, A Letter of Honesty & Changes - Rachel Cox from Oh Simple Thoughts
// Migration - Rhonda Mason from The Shoemaker's Daughter
// On Releasing Stress & Anxiety - Bethany from Cloistered Away
// My Real Bio - Erin Loechner from Design for Mankind
// The Art of Exclusion - David Duchemin on the Artifact Uprising Blog
Much love for your weekends friends, I am so thankful for each of you!